THE BREXIT exodus has officially begun with news coming in that the British Royal Family are now planning to move to Ireland in the hopes of securing a better and more stable future for the monarchy.
In a statement issued today by Buckingham Palace, the Queen and her husband, Prince Phillip are expected to move to the emerald Isle in January 2019, just three months before Brexit is officially executed, and are looking to build a 700,000 square meter palace on the hill of Tara in County Meath which will eventually house the entire royal family.
“With financial uncertainty brought about by leaving the European Union, her majesty Queen Elizabeth II has decided she will be relocating to Ireland for the foreseeable future,” read the statement, insisting that the move will not get in the way of her duties, “all speeches, including the Queen’s Christmas message, will continue to be streamed live from her new home, but will come with a few minor changes”.
Due to “fair balance” in the Irish broadcasting laws, the format of the Queens addresses will alter slightly and will now include Irish rebel songs being played in the background of each speech, including ‘A Nation Once Again’, ‘Come Out You Black And Tans’, ‘Rifles Of The I.R.A’ and the classic ‘Give Ireland Back to the Irish’.
Planning permission for the Queens new home has already been submitted, but again under several conditions laid out by more Irish laws.
“Unfortunately, the Queen will not be able to fly the Union Jack over the property as that has been illegal in Ireland since the establishment of the state in 1921,” explains Meath county councillor Gerard Holden, “it’s probably for their own good, as a lot of people around here are not that happy about them building on such a historic location. In fact, they really couldn’t have picked a worse place to move to, being the royal family,” concluding, “but I’m sure people will warm to them… eventually”.