Woman In Big Autumn Coat Drinking Coffee Thinks She’s In A Fucking Hallmark Movie

CONCERN has been expressed for a Dublin woman who spends her days taking strolls in scenic locations, coffee in hand and covered in an autumn jacket and a ludicrously large scarf, seemingly under the impression she is filming a Hallmark movie about a woman from a big city discovering that sometimes a small town is full of surprises and eligible bachelors.

“She’s been circling the same 500 metres for the last few hours, talking about how she ‘loves the Fall’, the poor lamb” shared one passerby who has put in a call to emergency services, such is her worry for 28-year-old Lorna Dwyer.

Dwyer has caused some unease as she attempted to engage bland looking men with no personality other than ‘have six pack’ in conversation, asking if any local, treasured amenity faces certain closure before Christmas and is in need of a fundraising effort to save it.

“I’m just a big city girl who left this small town behind years ago,” Dwyer said several times, as she circled Dublin’s Herbert Park, clutching her coffee cup in both hands, taking in its smell as looked skywards at the trees.

“We should make smores in the park behind the town square like we used to do in high school before Fall Prom,” Dwyer said to no one in particular.

UPDATE: Dwyer is now attempting to make an ‘Autumn Angel’ by lying down in the leaves and flailing her arms in a repetitive and manic fashion.

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