Irish Politics Update: Parties Arguing Over Who Wrote Most References For Sex Offenders
IRISH PEOPLE hoping to hear of improvements in the health and housing crises were left disappointed after the country’s largest political parties instead chose to argue over who loves writing references for paedophiles more.
“Yes now fired Sinn Féin staff wrote job references for former staffer Michael McMonagle and then we said we didn’t know about it but it was proven we were made aware of it last year but what about these guys over here, they love writing references for sex offenders too,” explained Mary Lou McDonald using the sort of stirring political rhetoric that even the most jaded of voters can be inspired by.
The ‘who writes the best references for sex offenders’ row was sparked by the coalition’s cynical attempt to table a debate on child welfare in the Dáil, for the sole purpose of pouring scorn on Sinn Fein rather than actually addressing things like the 230,000 children living in poverty in Ireland.
“I don’t always pay close attention to Irish politics but I’m glad they’re engaged in such high-minded policy debate, I was worried there for a second they’d come across as pathetic,” offered one Irish person.
“Things like child abuse and sexual violence are the most grievous crimes Irish society has to contend with so I’m obviously delighted to see politicians use it for cheap point-scoring ahead of an election,” confirmed another person.
In a recent WWN survey writing character references for people accused of horrible crimes ranks only second to ‘fixing potholes’ in the favourite hobbies of Irish politicians.