“Bone Spurs Are Flaring Up” Trump Reveals Why He’s Turning Down 2nd Debate
“I DESPERATELY wanted to win yet another debate but sadly my Vietnam era selective transient bone spurs have flared up again on the specific dates suggested for a second debate with Con-mala Harris,” a visibly disappointed Donald Trump said, marking what experts believe is the first instance of the former The Apprentice man declining to appear on TV.
Concerned Trump family members have repeatedly tried to remind the Republican nominee for president how good his ego will feel to be on TV in front millions however, bone spurs are a tragic and genuine medical condition which will rob the 78-year-old a chance at a another debate.
Trump has said that while he sadly can make a second debate he will continue to work tirelessly for the American people through the medium of deranged Truth Social posts which urge the public to hide their dogs from Haitian immigrants.
“No pet is safe, even giraffes, you’ve heard of ladders? Great inventions, go really high nearly touch the sky and these Haitians can climb them and bite the neck of your precious giraffe,” said Trump on his social media platform, delivering once more on the major concerns Americans are grappling with this election cycle.
“It’s Fox News I feel most sorry for,” said one political commentator of the conservative TV station which had already spent significant sums of money constructing a vast pool of orange fake tan back stage at a second debate so Donald Trump could bathe in it pre-debate like he was Baron Harkonnen healing himself in a pool of oil in ‘Dune’.
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