Man Can’t Believe People Aren’t Making His Moustache A Conversation Talking Point

DESPITE basing much of his personality on his recently grown moustache that has some twirly bits on each end, local attention seeker Stephen Clery has been left dismayed by the fact that no one is acknowledging it.

“I had 30 minutes planned all around how hard it is to find a decent moustache wax and how despite what you might think it’s not at all like normal hair wax,” explained Clery who also pretends to keep the rest of his face bare using an old fashion straight razor.

“These pricks know it’s there, they can see it, why aren’t fawning over what a whimsical free spirit I am,” Clery complained of friends who just greeted him at the pub with the usual nod and asked him how work was going.

Clery, who had spent considerable time practicing his self-deprecating laugh in the event of being slagged about his moustache, struggled as the night wore on with little sign that he would become the focal point of conversation.

“But that’s where you’re wrong, the biker moustache people refer to as the ‘handlebar’ is in fact ‘the horseshoe’, there’s actually a fascinating cultural history behind all this, I’m just doing my part to keep it alive,” a livid Clery said to his reflection in the toilet, through gritted teeth.

UPDATE: Clery received a timely boost after a passerby yelled ‘pedo’ at him as he waited on the last bus home from the pub.