Putin & Kim Bond Over How Mean West Is


“DUDE, get out of my head that’s what I was just thinking” exclaimed Vladimir Putin during his visit to North Korea, as a tentative Kim Jong-Un asked the Russian leader if he ever thought that the west was just really, really mean sometimes for absolutely no reason.

Bonding during lavish ceremonies in North Korea which saw Kim show Putin the DPRK’s best potato protected by 4 inches of bulletproof glass, the two leaders have grown ever closer with both men feeling they have made a friend for life, something that will send shivers down the spine of the western world.

Sharing tips on their favourite methods of execution they use on political dissidents, also known as ‘citizens’, the dictator duo are set to form the most terrifying double act since Ant & Dec.

“So, the window thing? Do you get guys to push them out of the window or do you make them jump out themselves?” queried Kim, pen and notepad in hands, during a bilateral meeting aimed forging enhanced support and cooperation between the pariah nations.

A rare moment of levity broke out between the two when their official food testers both died tasting meals meant for the leaders, prompting laughter all round.

“Ah, ah, ah! Great minds think alike. Are we becoming best friends? Because I think this is how you become best friends,” chuckled Putin, as foam pooled around the mouth of his food tester, who was convulsing on the floor.

Gifts were exchanged between the two with Putin handing over the only five Russian men between the ages of 18 and 21 not yet fed through the meat grinder that is his war in Ukraine, while Kim gifted cutting edge North Korean technology in the form of a Sony Walkman.