The EU’s ‘Smokey Bacon Flavour Ban’: Here’s Where To Riot


MEDDLESOME EU lawmakers have introduced a ban on a range of smoke flavouring added to ham, rashers and smoky bacon crisps among other food items which takes affect two years from now, resulting in a potentially hellish future for Irish consumers.

While many people can easily stand growing inequality, refugees drowning in the Med and Ursula von der Leyen getting an Israel flag tattoo on her forehead, normally placid citizens have been broken by this horrific news.

“But my Friday evening treat of a little family 12-pack of Tayto Smokey Bacon crisps is the only thing giving my miserable life meaning” we hear you cry! Well do something about it.

WWN provides every right-minded outraged person with the essential details required to help reverse this heartless, flavourless decision:

Google ‘how to make a petrol bomb’, fairly straightforward.

Those responsible: the EU Food Safety Authority concluded toxicity concerns about the flavourings were ‘either confirmed or can’t be ruled out’. Their headquarters are at via Carlo Magno 1A 43126 Parma, Italy.

It should be taken as a given that Teagasc has been razed to the ground for its flavour to prevent this atrocity.

You can’t do this on your own though. Round up every comfort eater in your local area; the smoked salmon lovers, the smoked back rashers gobblers, the applewood smoked cheese swallowers and send a message to those out of touch fools in power.

Alternatively, you can also choose the shortsighted option and buy out all remaining stocks of bacon fries in every pub in Ireland, create a black market and become richer than Jeff Bezos in the process.