Woman Mulling Over Career Change Surprised By Lack Of Six-Figure Jobs For Doing Fuck All


A DUBLIN woman is reconsidering her career change plans after the disappointing discovery that there isn’t much in the way of jobs paying €100k in exchange for ‘fuck all work’.

“Jesus, fucking recruiters are useless,” Shona Shannon declared, after the country’s leading recruitment firms failed to present her with an abundance of low-effort, high-paid jobs that require next to no qualifications.

Bitter at the news that hands-off, low-effort jobs like those on the RTÉ board among others don’t just grow on trees, Shannon was trying to come to terms with the fact that 10am-to-4pm 4-day working weeks with 2-hour lunch breaks and a monster salary are not easy to come by.

“Surely there’s a handy number in one of those tech firms,” queried the 30-year-old, currently in a management role that requires a little too much actual work.

“I’m willing to go into the office for it once a month, but I just need a guarantee no one checks up on anything your doing and there’s no deadlines or anything like that,” said Shannon in a follow up email with recruiters, who still haven’t responded to her initial inquiries.

UPDATE: Ms. Shannon has secured herself a role at Uisce Éireann.