Niall Collins Really Out-Fianna Fáiling Himself This Time


JUST WHEN you thought he couldn’t possibly out-Fianna Fáil himself anymore, party junior minister and ex-county councillor Niall/Neil/Noel whatever he’s naming himself this week Collins has managed to break the party mould, WWN has learned.

“Bertie was even impressed,” a party source began, “we thought Collins’ previous alleged misdeeds over planning submissions using various different names was FF 101, but he’s appears to have gone one further when he voted as a councillor to sell council-owned land that his own bloody wife went on to buy. Who, by the way, is now trying to sell five social housing units from the site back to the same council for a very tidy sum – totally out-Fianna Fáiling themselves”.

Voting on the land sale and failing to declare a conflict of interest is a criminal offence according to the Local Government Act 2001 and carries a potential two year prison sentence. Due to this fact the news is expected to make the party’s wall of corruption fame, joining a list too long to mention here as we’d be here all day writing them.

“It’s the most Fianna Fáilest thing I’ve ever heard,” boasted another party member, “just when you thought our corruption era peaked, on comes Niall, knocking it out of the illegally acquired, rezoned park”.

Commenting on the news reports that one of his party members is embroiled in a corruption scandal, Tánaiste Micheál Martin defended Collins by stating ‘Sinn Féin, Sinn Féin, Sinn Féin’ as his face turned red.