“We Didn’t Take Eviction Decision Lightly” TD Tells Landlord Mates In Clubhouse After 18 Holes


“HEART’S broken, could hardly sleep sure. To duff that chip off the green when I was in with a shout of a birdie and then do it again today, haunted I am, this will gnaw away at me” confirmed coalition TD Noel Abhaile to his mates as they reviewed their round of golf.

“Oh how am I sleeping what with the eviction ban ending? Didn’t take the decision lightly, took it bloody quick though wha? Hahaha,” chuckled Abhaile, who has successfully skipped paying for his round by going to the toilet.

Abhaile is believed to be just one of dozens of TDs who will be stern of face this weekend when talking to fellow landlords about how tough the decision was to end the eviction ban.

“But seriously lads, hand on heart now – tell me, be honest. No one I’ve talked to here at the club has any issue with the ban ending, same down the yacht club, what about you lads? I’m starting to think all this homeless stuff is a bit overblown, like Drico’s drive on the 4th. Hiyooo, I’m on fire,” Abhaile said, the weight of thousands of evictions clearly pressing down on him.

“The only thing worse than lifting an eviction ban before having any plan in place was that bunker shot on 13th, wha? Sorry, I’m repeating jokes now, no new jokes no new policies says you,” Abhaile added, just glad to be able to destress after a tough week.

“And it’s like you said Billo, ‘market forces’, what alternatives were there? None if you don’t include the hundreds put forward by housing charities, academics, industry experts and the opposition. Our hands were tied, by you lot haha, bloody wouldn’t stop begging me to lift it. Well you can all lift the cards out of your wallet and get the next round in.”