Last Remaining Native White Irishman Dies


IT IS with great sadness that WWN must report that Ireland oldest and last remaining native white person has died at the age of 57.

Barry Hurley, a proud native Irishman, passed away in front of no friends and family because as previously stated Ireland is a nation which counts white Irish as its smallest, most downtrodden and vilified minority (the last census listed numbers had dwindled to about 4).

Hurley, of unacknowledged Nordic, Germanic and Saxon heritage, will be mourned by no one because Hurley tried to warn you white Irish natives were dying out but you wouldn’t listen and now there’s none of you left.

“A patriot in the mold of Cu Chulainn and Bull McCabe, Barry fought valiantly in comment sections and outside refugee centres for years,” began Hurley’s self-penned obituary.

Sadly few people will have understood Hurley’s lengthy obituary as no one speaks English anymore in an Ireland Hurley barely recognised by the time of his death.

Hurley, who knew his body was giving out and finally succumbing to illness, requested a curry for his last meal but with nurses from God-knows-where tending to him, he knew he’d be denied his favourite meal from his quintessentially Irish childhood.