Local Mother Given Gift Of Worst Card You’ve Ever Seen In Your Life For Mother’s Day


ONE LOCAL Dublin child is skirting very close to permanently entering her mother’s bad books after producing what is conservatively estimated to be the ‘shitest piece of shit Mother’s Day card anyone has ever produced’.

“The fuck is this?” inquired mother Angela Heaney of her 3-year-old daughter Cara, who can’t have spent more than 10 seconds on a series of indecipherable lines and squiggles.

“Don’t lie to me Cara, this clearly isn’t ‘me’, I don’t have seven arms and one leg, do I? Would it have killed you to just put some bloody effort in. Christ, and after all I do for you,” a disappointed and frankly fuming Angela relayed to her daughter, who inexplicably thought this piss poor half-arsed explosion of mediocrity counts as a ‘nice gesture’.

“You’d want to take a good long hard look at yourself in the mirror Cara love, absolute joke this is,” Angela added placing the card in the bin where it belongs.

“Put it on the fridge? Are you mad, I’ll put you on the fridge in a minute,” cautioned Angela as Cara requested her art adorn the front of the fridge.

When approached for comment Cara admitted the card was a rush job but insisted she could have sworn ‘Mammy’ was spelled squiggle, squarey looking shape, M, brown blob of crayon and random glitter splodge.