Government Confirm Another 40,000 Housing Units Completed This Week On Hy-Brasil

DESPITE yet another report detailing current housing targets remain unmet and fall well short of the units needed in the decades ahead, there was some good news in the form of 40,000 thousand new affordable homes on the island of Hy-Brasil.

“Is it a mythical island off the west cost of Ireland that doesn’t exist? Yes, but c’mon 40,000 is a big impressive number and will be of solace to those fearing eviction,” Minister for Housing Darragh O’Brien said.

“Hey, you can’t get mad! We built them, whether or not they’re on a fictional island that first appeared on cartographer’s maps in the 12th century is neither here nor there,” added O’Brien, who confirmed payments to developers for the Hy-Brasil builds were not fictional.

Hy-Brasil remains the sole location in Ireland where the government and local councils are hitting their housing targets, making the fictional island the envy of every county.

“Wow, so there’s no families sleeping in Garda stations there? Listening to the local radio there must be boring, no one begging for help after receiving an eviction letter,” shared one evictee.

O’Brien’s pride at hitting a housing target was repeated by his Fianna Fáil colleague and boss Micheál Martin.

“Sorry, I feel a bit dizzy I don’t know what’s come over me,” offered Tánaiste Martin, suffering withdrawals after going more than 60 seconds without blaming Sinn Féin for the housing crisis.

Elsewhere, the government also announced that waiting lists at Hy-Brasil hospitals are at an all-time low.