Lightless E-Scooter Rider Enjoys Another Fun Night Wearing All Black While Running Red Lights At 30mph


ENJOYING another evening of seamlessly navigating through traffic on the streets of Dublin city, e-scooter owner Michael Rimes has confirmed he just can’t see himself using public transport or his own car in the city again.

“It’s just so handy,” explained Rimes, whose voice we had to follow in order to locate him as he was dressed is the least visible clothing available to humankind.

“I use cycle lanes when I can and sure, the surface can get a little rough but I’m home in no time,” added Rimes, who has directly caused 12 heart attacks among drivers this year alone as he continues his habit of veering into the middle of the road without checking for traffic behind him while devoid of a reflective surface.

Rimes explained that hi-vis jackets cause ‘drag’ greatly reducing his average speed from 30kph to 29kph which is a problem when the aim is to get home as quickly as possible while ignoring concepts such as rules of the road.

“Just as well I’m such a conscientious and competent scooterer, or is it scootist or scooter? Anyway imagine the risk I’d pose to myself going 30kph if I was reckless?” the tech worker remarked before weaving between two buses in the process of merging into a bus lane.

Elsewhere, cyclists have thanked e-scooter riders for becoming even more vilified than cyclists and allowing bike riders to ascend to the heights of second most hated presence on Irish roads.