Green Comet: The Facts

THIS week’s once-in-a-lifetime appearance of a celestial body is the so-called ‘green comet’, visible in our skies for the first time since the stone age.

Here’s everything you need to know about the green comet, or C/2022 E3 as it is known to its friends:

• The comet gets it’s distinctive green hue from a coating of space moss, throwing that whole ‘a rolling stone gathers no moss’ nonsense into disrepute
• Many amateur stargazers have wearily stated that this is the last time they’re heading out in the freezing cold to see something in the sky, honestly if it’s not green comets it’s blood moons and it’s all getting a bit tiresome
• The green comet will be visible in the northernmost part of the sky from 10PM tonight, if you’re in another country. Because there’s no way in hell that the cloud cover blanketing the nation 365 days of the year will clear just because you want to see a fast rock
• Anyone expecting the comet to look like a comet will be sorely mistaken. It’s going to look more like a slowly moving star. This isn’t Deep Impact, people.
• The green comet has nothing to do with Ireland, but it would be a sin to let the occasion pass without a rip of pints

If you miss the green comet tonight, relax. Social media will be flooded with pictures of a smudgy black sky behind a streetlight in the morning.