Residents Oppose Appearance Of Wanderly Wagon


“WE have nothing against the occupants of the Wanderly Wagon, said one resident of an affluent Waterford housing estate earlier this morning following the arrival of the mystical travelling vehicle in a green field site 500 yards up the road.

“But we just do not want them parked right beside us. No offence to anyone, but they’re just going to have to move”.

The outburst was echoed by several of the residents of Cuaithe Bairne, who expressed concern that the Wanderly Wagon and its travelling menagerie of talking crows, dogs, and many-coated men, would bring the neighbourhood into disrepute and lower the value of property in the area.

“It’s not the Wanderly Wagon itself that we mind, it’s the type of activity that arrives alongside it,” said a Cuaithe Bairne resident, while checking DAFT.IE to see if the price of her house was going down by the second.

“Earlier today, we saw an evil talking snake skulking around, up to no good. Cuaithe Bairne has never had an evil talking snake in the area before, but hours after the Wanderly Wagon arrived, we’ve got one in the fucking bushes.

“We’re very aware that the Wanderly Wagon people are probably decent enough, one at a time, but they’re not welcome around here”.

The fury of Cuaithe Bairne residents was not lessened after learning that the Wanderly Wagon crew devote all their time to the betterment of everyone they meet, up to and including handing out regular road safety advice to children, but they were adamant that the vehicle would not be allowed to settle in the area.

“I don’t care who’s problem it is, I just know it’s not our fucking problem,” the chairperson for the residents association stated.

“Let them go back to where they came from, and leave us decent people in peace”.