NASA To Confirm That Space Is Really Fucking Big

241
0
Share:

The National Aeronautics And Space Administration has issued its annual statement in which it confirms that space is, was, and continues to be head-scratchingly massive to the extent that they don’t even know what the fuck they’re looking at any more.

Senior spokespeople for NASA assured astronomy enthusiasts worldwide that space is ‘so big it’ll make your brain explode’, and added that they may actually have to start coming up with new terms to help them cope with explaining it.

“Light years don’t really cut it when you’re talking about a million of them,” said Margaret Harrison, chief spokesperson for NASA’s Holy Shit This Is Big department.

“So we might have to start talking about light centuries or light millenia. ‘2 light millenia’ sounds a bit more manageable than ‘2,000 light years’, d’you get me?”

“Like if you say something is a light millenia away, it makes it sound like maybe we could someday conceivably get there. Not that we have a chance in hell of getting out of our own solar system. Space is just way too big and we’re too small. In terms you might understand, Earth is your dad’s dick and space is your mom’s vagina”.

NASA went on to confirm that the reason they have such a high turnover of staff is due to the fact that employee’s minds are regularly ‘blown’ when faced with contemplating the sheer size of space.

Share:
X