40 People Deafened By Two Teenage Girl’s Running Into Each Other On Street


SEVEN ambulances were called to Grafton Street after two teenage girls, who had not seen each other ‘in forever’, screamed upon catching one another’s eye, deafening as many as 40 people who were unfortunate enough to be within a 70 metre radius.

Ciara Lally and Lily Byrne emitted high pitched vocal distortions that may leave 40 people permanently deaf after expressing surprise and shock at running into each other.

“Like, when was the last time I saw you, last night at Noelle’s? Seriously, I’ve missed you like mad,” enthused Ciara jumping up and down with joy, as a number of pedestrians clung to their ears having heard sound for the very last time.

“We were called to the scene and I’ve never witnessed anything like it, the giddy bitches were out of control. It was ‘oh my God’ this and ‘oh my God’ that, not a care for the damage they had caused,” explained responding paramedic Darren Higgins.

Gardaí took the aural terrorists into custody, but both girls maintained their innocence stressing that ‘you don’t get it, Meadbh kissed Jack, no one saw that coming since she was going out with Jamie. We were in shock’.

While experts contend that Meadbh’s behaviour and decision making skills were probably worthy of loud screams of shock, most judges will be unable to ignore the carnage that was visited upon normal non-hysterical teenage portion of the Grafton St population.

This latest incident marks the 14th time so far this year that overenthusiastic teenagers have deafened large groups of crowds after bumping into each other.