State Continues To Hound And Persecute Local Businessman

A DUBLIN court has today continued to hear evidence of what is being described as one of the most savage attacks carried out by the State on a private citizen.

Prominent living God, businessman, charity man and man man Denis O’Brien is in court today to fight for his right to bring the independent operations of the political system to account, but is being blocked at every turn by unconscionable barristers acting on behalf of the State.

“I wasn’t initially on O’Brien’s side, but then I heard they wouldn’t let him bring in his pram and his toys to court, and I thought ‘something’s not right here’, they’re hounding the man,” explained one passerby who was holding up a ‘Justice for Denis’ sign.

The State, in an attack so oppressive and brazen it would make North Korea blush, suggested through its representatives in court that the free speech of the parliament should be protected as outlined in the Constitution.

Some inaccurate reports suggested Mr. O’Brien openly wept in court upon hearing the barrage of personal attacks which implied he was not the Constitution.

Medical experts observing O’Brien on the stand earlier in the week pleaded that proceedings should be adjourned indefinitely as they believed the billionaire could be suffering from a rare and life threatening condition.

“It appears his skin is so thin that certain words could eviscerate his flesh and kill him, the courts should cease proceedings immediately so he can rest and recover,” Dr. Tadgh Slipps pleaded.

The persecution of Mr. O’Brien resumes tomorrow.