Dublin Is Basically Europe’s New York, Insist Dubliners


LOCAL Dublin residents have informed the rest of Ireland, and Europe that while not meaning to sound boastful, their city is hands down, basically the New York of Europe.

Citing a number of wholly idiotic reasons, several residents of Dublin were able to convince themselves of their city’s ‘New Yorkness’.

“We’re not boasting, but we’ve got like, novelty cafe with puns in the title,” shared one Dubliner, John Lafferty outside Pizza The Action while holding a vintage vinyl player to his ear.

“And our heroin problem is on par with New York which gives us that bit of danger in the air, it’s so unique,” added Lafferty.

Dublin’s unique position in the world is something local’s remain proud and effusive of, but they stress, not in the annoying way Cork people tend to go on about Cork.

“It’s like Dublin is another character in my life,” confirmed Dublin local Ciara Gough as she looked at her surroundings, which included a McDonalds, 7 Starbucks and a Penneys.

Despite not having the vast array of diverse communities and cultures that are present in New York, Dubliners were quick to stress the positives.

“The Luas was class for awhile, and the chipper stays open til 1am on the weekends, if anything we might be better than New York at this whole bustling city thing,” Dubliner Ciaran Gallon confirmed.