Varadkar’s Failings As Health Minister Forgiven After Being Voted Most ‘Dateable’ Politician


A VARIETY of issues relating to the Dublin TD Leo Varadkar’s performance in government since becoming minister for health have all been forgiven after he topped a completely pointless survey, WWN can reveal.

With Mr. Varadkar topping a poll, conducted for no discernable reason by a mobile phone network, which sought to find Ireland’s most ‘dateable’ politician the Fine Gael TD’s unsatisfactory performance as a minister has all but been erased.

“Shite surveys like this are great for us,” explained a spin doctor for Fine Gael, “ya see, these things get shared like wildfire, they are definitely more shared than stories about people dying in our health system due to poor management and a lack of funding, or any semblance of a viable plan – it’s actually kind of sad if you pause to think about it, but like I said thankfully no one does”.

Ahead of Valentine’s Day this coming Sunday, it is thought TDs ‘fuckability’, ‘dateability’, ‘one-night-stand-ability’ and ‘cuddly-ness’ will be chief among the concerns of ill-conceived surveys and polls which insult the intelligence of the public.

“We have a dedicated ‘banter team’ at work to flood websites and papers with utter distracting nonsense, they cost a fortune to set up. But there’s no need for them anymore when stupid stuff like this does the job for us,” added the spokesperson who refused to confirm how he voted in a survey on which politicians he would most like to be involved in a threesome, golden shower or orgy with.

It is believed more websites have reported on Mr. Varadkar’s ‘dateability’ than have reported on the minister’s claims that more hospital beds for patients simply slow down hospital staff.