Cocky 5-Year-Old Already Testing Limits Of Smacking Ban


WATERFORD child, Sean Gildea is already testing the limits of the newly enforced ban on smacking children by acting the complete shit, WWN has learned.

Sean, a normally well behaved 5-year-old, is utilising the fact that under the eyes of the law, his parents can no longer psychically beat him if he misbehaves which is providing him with the opportunity to misbehave to his heart’s content.

“Watch this,” Sean urged as he ran into the kitchen and grabbed a packet of biscuits before throwing them all in his mouth at once, “I know my rights you fat heads,” Sean added, berating his parents who now had no way to discipline their child.

This was just one in a series of examples of ill-discipline which has seen Sean use his parents’ credit card to purchase a small Caribbean Island, 4 mail order brides, and 600 kilos of heroin.

“The old ‘beat the head off them’ option is off the table, so really, he’s the boss now. He’s after telling us he won’t be going to bed until 9.30pm, little did he know, with this new law, he could negotiate 11.30pm and we’d have to give in,” Sean’s father Adam explained to WWN.

The introduction of a ban on smacking and striking of children by their parents has seen a huge upheaval in the way Irish parents now interact with their children, especially in instances where children are ‘acting the bollocks’.

“If my choice is giving in and letting them get away with absolutely everything or smacking him and spending life in jail, I’ll take the former,” Sean’s mother Elaine shared.