7 Signs You’ve Met That Friend You’d Never Leave Alone With Your Boyfriend Because She’s A Slut

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IT’S hard to find a good group of friends that don’t repeat one another’s traits.

Every now again, we’re fortunate enough to streamline friends so that we’re left with just a handful: the funny one, the one who is almost as good looking as us, the hopeless case, the smart one and of course the one you’d never leave alone with your boyfriend because she’s an absolute slut.

While you have full faith in your boyfriend’s ability to contain himself, you just can’t envisage leaving him alone with her. But, often it’s hard to know when you’ve made that special friend, so here are the 7 signs you’d found that wonderful friend/sly bitch:

1) She’s better looking than you. Hello warning signs! We can crack open the celebratory champagne we’ve found her!

2) After hearing you had a boyfriend, she asked what his name was. Sure, if your hilarious friends asks, it’s just being polite, but when it’s this slut asking the questions it’s called information gathering.

3) “You guys are perfect for each other”. Eh, climb the fuck off him. Yes, he spoilt you last Christmas and you brought him away for his birthday, but she’ll be spoiling for a fight if she thinks you don’t know what a compliment masquerading as a sinister plot to steal him away looks like.

4) Her ideal man is the complete opposite of your boyfriend. Nice try, she’s obviously a friend for life, but does she think you can’t see through her obvious lies.

5) She’s always looking to get a taxi home with you and your man. Granted, she lives like three roads over, but come on, how about not sitting in a taxi for 12 minutes secretly trying to eye fuck your boyfriend that would be great, thanks.

6) On, like, break up number 6. She’s been there for you through thick and thin, but you can’t have her prowling around your turf when she goes through more boyfriends than you do imaginary scenarios in your head which see her cornering your man and demanding sex.

7) Seriously your paranoia has to stop. Ha-ha again, nice try, but that’s exactly what a cock hungry psycho would say.

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