Desperate Migrants Cross Mediterranean On Makeshift Cruise Liner


FLOATING aimlessly towards an unpronounceable Greek island on a makeshift cruise ship, thousands of desperate white migrants made their way across the Mediterranean to seek a better way of life following an ongoing conflict of destinations they couldn’t agree on in their local travel agency.

“We wanted to visit a lot of countries here so I decided on a nice cruise for myself and the family,” explained exhausted 67-year-old businessman Jeremy Woods, who could barely move after a five course meal. “I don’t know how I’m going to survive after that fillet steak, I’m absolutely bursting here.”

Dozens more migrants were seen scurrying from the pool area of the precarious makeshift vessel, apparently suffering from exposure to the elements after being afloat for almost 14 days.

“Are my shoulders badly sunburned?” asked one tormented soul, who admitted to falling asleep in the scorching Summer sun while drinking. “I hope I don’t get heat stroke or something. Can you imagine? I’ll be sick as a dog for days after all those mojitos this morning.”

Astonishingly, a few more appeared to have made the journey living on nothing but shellfish and fish eggs, ordered verbally using only their mouths.

“The lobster and caviar on this ship is to die for,” stated one survivor. “The chicken can sometimes be overcooked though”.

These are the latest of an estimated 7,500 middle-aged white people to arrive on the small picturesque coastline in just over a week, with many now sleeping rough in spaces they call ‘cabins’.

“It can be rough at times when there are so many noisy people on the one craft,” explained retiree Dr. Janet Byrnes, who was said to have paid a staggering £5,000 to traffickers. “Hopefully I can make it back home at some stage”.

The latest migrant crisis has come at the same time that many Syrian families have arrived on their Summer holidays at the popular tourist destinations, forcing accommodation prices down, thus hurting the local economy.

“I know it must be tough on them with all that bad weather they have,” said Syrian man Abdul Kuichi. “But all they’re doing here is just ruining it for everyone else.”