Drugs Minister Urges Street Dealers To Use Loyalty Card System For The Unemployed


THE minister appointed to oversee drugs strategy Aodhan O Riordain has today urged dealers across the country to opt in for a proposed loyalty card system for the unemployed, in a bid to cut down on petty crime being committed by strapped users.

The Labour TD’s proposal, which would see drug customers getting ten deals for the price of eight, said his first task will be to examine the National Drug Dealers Strategy, which has been left neglected over the past fifty years.

“The whole thing is a mess,” O Riordain told WWN. “Street dealers got away with murder over the last few years. No offers. No freebies. No leniency on debts owed. The underground drug scene in Ireland is fifty years behind the rest of the world. And it’s my job to fix it”.

Speaking from a coffee shop in Amsterdam, the Dublin North TD slammed wholesalers in Ireland for their lack of innovation, pointing out numerous issues within the current establishment.

“Why is there no loyalty cards for school children or unemployed people who are not be able to afford the habit?” he asked. “In this day-and-age, there are dealers in Ireland who don’t even weigh their product before selling it. Can you believe that? It’s like entering Starbucks, ordering a cappuccino, but getting an espresso.

“Then after being ripped off, they refuse to stamp your loyalty card? Not on my watch criminal!”

The Labour Party politician, who was unanimously voted in by the party for his history in partying, warned criminal gangs that he will be paying a visit to them personally if they don’t pull their socks up over their tracksuit pants.

“Ireland’s drug scene has a huge problem with centralization,” he added. “The prices in Dublin are far less than the prices in cities like Limerick and Waterford. It’s not fair to the rural community. Things will have to change”.