JobBridge Intern Has No Idea He Will Be Fired Today


DESPITE the clear warning signs after he requested his second day off in recent months, JobBridge intern Kevin Murray has no idea he will be sacked later today.

The inevitable and obvious decision to terminate his government funded internship has come after repeated instances of fatigue, tiredness and general inability to carry out basic tasks.

Kevin has been found asleep on the job at least once in the recent weeks during his morning security shift, cleaning duties during the day and evening security shift.

The standard of cleanliness in the WWN offices has worsened in recent weeks after editor Paddy Browne hired 12 new journalists, meaning Kevin isn’t spending the required amount of time cleaning the toilets, which are busier than ever.

The final straw for mentor Paddy Browne came upon receiving a call from management at the requesting a character reference for Kevin, as he had interviewed for a position at the media outfit.

Browne, a fantastic mentor to the ungrateful Kevin, couldn’t help feeling betrayed, especially after he was so patient with Kevin when the intern’s mother was killed in a hit and run incident, even going to the funeral as Kevin covered reception for the day.

It is expected Kevin will be asked into the meeting room later this afternoon where Paddy Browne will ask Kevin in front of everyone “what rhymes with and is the opposite of ‘you’re hired?'”

New WWN JobBridge intern Orna Hughes, a recent journalism PhD graduate, will be tasked with escorting Kevin off the premises with minimal fuss.

It is thought Kevin will not secure further employment anytime soon due to the perfectly succinct and foul mouthed reference Paddy Browne gave to management at The Journal, which insinuated Kevin was an avid drug user, child abuser and part time prostitute.