Veteran Cop And Hotshot Rookie Team Up To Take Down Water Protestors


A NORTH Dublin Garda with only two weeks left until retirement has paired up with an unorthodox rookie fresh out of Templemore, in a bid to rid the city of water protestors once and for all.

55-year-old Michael Murray, currently counting down the hours left on his 30 years in service to An Garda Síochána, was placed on patrol with brash new recruit Sean Russell, a wisecracking 25-year-old who isn’t shy about letting his truncheon do the talking.

The unlikely duo, who initially detested each other before slowly bonding over a series of cases in which they issued fixed penalties for motoring violations such as out-of-date NCT certs and driving in the bus lane, have now turned their attention to tackling organised civil disruption in the mean suburbs of Dublin.

“Murray and Russell are outta control, God dammit,” said the pair’s long-suffering Sergeant, Sean Lowe.

“They’ve been cracking down on water protestors all across the city! I shoulda known when I put that hotshot Russell on the beat, Murray would start thinking back to the good old days when you could smash someones teeth in and face no repercussions… now they’ve got it in their heads to take on the entire God damn anti-water charge movement by themselves!”

“This department is one smartphone video of a woman getting kicked in the stomach away from being shut down, and those two are out attacking protestors like their packs of Jaffa Cakes!”

Despite appeals from Sergeant Lowe to back off the case because it’s getting too heavy, Murray and Russell are to continue their two-man campaign against civil disobedience, possibly fitting in a visit to a strip-club somewhere along the way.