Ireland Impress With 4-1 Win In Match That Doesn’t Matter



IRELAND’S impressive 4-1 victory against the USA has come just days after an impressive performance like that was actually needed, WWN can reveal.

The positive result was noted by experts as handing Ireland the same number of points it received for its loss against Scotland last Friday.

Despite Robbie Brady’s stunning free kick and the match having all the hallmarks of a meaningful game, including fans, TV cameras and goals, match referee Pawel Raczkowski confirmed that Ireland could not exchange this performance for any points against Scotland.

The performance has been hailed by countless people who have yet to realise how meaningless and trivial the victory looks next a toothless defeat several days earlier to Scotland.

“It was a good performance against a good opposition,” explained manager Martin O’Neill, seemingly unable to access the part of his brain that recalls performances in competitive matches.

Fans were even more effusive with their praise for the victory, with many individuals becoming lost for words.

“4-1 in a friendly four days after not turning up in Scotland, ah, it’s a magical night,” said fan Brian Hurley whose sarcasm was not easily detected at first.

“Ah, you have to be over the moon with the three points this victory doesn’t get us,” added fan Kevin Corless.

Before the game itself some fans had organised a protest to take place against FAI chief John Delaney inside the Aviva as many are unhappy with the way ticketing allocation for the Scotland match was handled.

Delaney, who has consistently praised Irish fans for being the best in the world, rewarded those looking to protest with being thrown out of the game by Gardaí and stewards while also having their banners confiscated.

Although RTÉ didn’t show the match live, they have confirmed a grief counsellor was on hand for Eamon Dunphy was he was told the starting lineup did not include Wes Hoolahan.