Ireland And Scotland Fans To Set New World Record For Swearing At Tonight’s Match


GUINNESS Book of Records officials will be in attendance in Glasgow this evening as Ireland face off against Scotland in the latest of their Euro 2016 qualifying matches.

The game, much anticipated by media, fans and players alike, sees Celtic Park providing the perfect venue for a thrilling and tense tie.

Aside from the football, many people will be watching to see Irish and Scottish culture intertwine and compliment one another, bringing to the fore some proud Celtic traditions – chief among them being the art of swearing.

“We expect an average of 8 expletives per second,” explained the Guinness Book of Records official Hans Tilba but fans from both sides have insisted they could well surpass that.

“Christ, we love a bit of fucking swearing, it’s in the blood. These bastarding Scots are the same and I’ll be fucked if we’re not going to shit all over that poor fucking excuse of a record,” explained visiting Irish fan Eoin Keirnan.

Guinness officials admit that at any given weekend in the past both Irish and Scottish fans could have broken the record but this represents the first time the two fans will be side by side since records began.

Scottish fans have been similarly effusive about joining in with the Irish fans in an expression of common cultural passions.

“Aye, a cunt is a cunt is a cunt. Let no cunt tell you different, for that is a fucking lie,” added Donald Fletcher as he spoke to WWN.

It’s expected, regardless of tonight’s result, fans will utter positive, negative, encouraging, bashful and determined variants on classic swear words which by the final whistles will number the millions.