Bewildered Ahern Struggling To Acquire ‘Cash Donations’ From ‘Friends’ To Help Pay Tribunal Legal Bills


BERTIE AHERN is finding it increasingly difficult to get cash donations from business friends to help pay his €500k Mahan tribunal legal bill, a source close to the former Taoiseach said today.

The €150,000 a year ‘retiree scumfuck who oversaw the total annihilation of the entire Irish property market’ is said to have exhausted all avenues and is currently begging developer friends in England to ‘part with a few sterling for the sake of an old bud’.

WWN has learned from an anonymous source that Mr. Ahern has ‘absolutely no resources left in Ireland’and might have to ‘tap into his off-shore finances’.

“Poor Bertie is in an awful way. He told me that he really doesn’t want to liquefy his assets abroad for fear he might be flagged by the tax department.

“He has lead this country through the best eleven years of its history and is now being asked to pay a humiliating fine in return.”

“Is this the way we should be treating our long standing servants of the state?” said the source.

Figures released this week showed Mr Ahern has been paid a pathetic €264,000 in expenses since he left office three years ago, on top of this he was insulted with a measly €450k pension for the same period.

“How is a well respected politician expected to live on €714,000 minus the €500,000 in legal fees?

“That only left him with €214k, which is only €71,300 euros per annum!! No man, woman or child could eat out every night and jet-set regularly around the world on that kind of money. Its an absolute joke.”  added the source.

Mr Ahern has recently stated he was “1,000 per cent innocent” of the “half a dozen things” that had been put to him at the tribunal.

Considering the fact that a thousand percent is actually ten times the amount originally needed to confirm such a claim, goes to show the mindset and blatant disregard for accountancy the former Taoiseach has.