Pope Nearing ‘Final Level Of Medal Of Honour’ Says Cardinal


A LEADING VATICAN cardinal said yesterday that Pope Benedict was nearing “the final levels of Medal of Honour” the latest prelate to express alarm over the pontiff’s newly found addiction to first-person shoot em up’s.

The remarks by Italian Cardinal Luigi Minestrone came as Ben’s closest aide sought to minimise concern over the his early morning computer games sessions.

“Thank God he’s nearly finished it. Its been a whole week now we haven’t seen him. The first thing he does when he wakes up is go straight to the games room. Its getting tiring.” said Cardinal Wimp’s (72) the Archbishop of Berlin.

Asked about the console on which the pope prefers, the Archbishop referred to comments by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger that Benedict “Is indeed a Playstation 3 man” and that he doesn’t like the chunky X-box controllers as they’re too “awkward and gay”.

“He told me he was just going to have one more game before getting ready for mass. That was 5 hours ago. Every time I go in there, he shoos me out like a cat.” Archbishop Wimp’s said.

“However, he did say he was on the last few levels, but was stuck on a mission and he really needed to finish it today.

This will be the 3rd time this week I will have had to cancel the Vatican daily mass” he said.

The Pope looked relaxed and alert during his mass yesterday morning, which only lasted 9 minutes and was one of 3 ceremonies on his schedule yesterday.

The Vatican announced that the Pope will hopefully preside over the installation of 12 new cardinals at the steps of St Peter’s Basilica this coming Sunday, all depending on the completion of the game of course.

It has been reported that the pontiff has requested an Internet line to be hooked up to the Vatican games room.

Archbishop Wimp’s also stated the pope had asked for a wireless head set and a messaging chair from his personal assistants earlier this week.

“We will have to see about that one.” he added.