Zlatan Ibrahimovic Commissions Statue Of Himself Outside Old Trafford

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AFTER a commanding and cup-winning display in Manchester United’s 3-2 League Cup final win over Southampton yesterday, the talismanic Zlatan Ibrahimovic has commissioned a statue of himself outside Old Trafford, WWN understands.

Speaking to reporters in the moments after the game, Ibrahimovic revealed the design spec for his statue which will reach heights of 30ft.

“They say I’m finished, I am not. But work on my statue should be finished within the next week after a brief tendering process,” Zlatan confirmed, putting the call out to local sculptors.

The statue itself will depict a shirtless Zlatan vanquishing an ancient beast with a trident, complete with 24 grovelling peasants at his feet also known as his United teammates. Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho went as far as to demand that the club’s fans build the statue for free and wait on the striker hand and foot until he retires.

“It will be a place of worship, and I expect everyone to pay their respects,” the striker added before searing a hole through the soul of Sky Sports reporter Geoff Shreeves with a stare as it appeared Shreeves was going to point out that ‘it’s just the League Cup’.

Wayne Rooney has confirmed he is available to show up in full kit to cut the ribbon at the unveiling of the statue if needed.

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