Tough Decision Time For Netanyahu As He Struggles To Choose Best Shelf For Nobel Peace Prize

TOUGH decisions have plagued Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu this week as he admitted he hasn’t had a wink of sleep trying to decide the precise location in his office to put his presumptive Nobel Peace Prize.

“I don’t want to look too weak by having it right behind me during press briefings, but I also want to show it off at certain times,” the 75-year-old told himself, frantically rearranging books to make room for his imagined award like they were a Gazan tower block.

“What if they also give me the UNESCO Prize for Peace Education? I may have to clear this whole shelf,” he fretted, before calling US President Donald Trump for advice.

“Well, if you win it this year, send me some pics with a banana for scale so I know how much room I need to make next year,” Netanyahu asked of the US President, rolling his eyes at the fresh news coming down from the line from Washington DC.

“There are hostages? Really? I’m surprised there’s any left after our campaign… haha… yes, Don… we’ll give them a right pounding before Saturday, don’t you worry,” Netanyahu said concludeding the call, before leaning back in his chair to admire the freshly cleared shelf behind him – the same backdrop from which he oversaw what history will remember as the 2023-2025 Gazan genocide.