Shaggy Appointed As Advisor To Zelensky

THE Ukrainian government has appointed Jamaican rapper Shaggy as a special advisor to President Volodymyr Zelensky, to help him get through a sea of Russian accusations using the musician’s tried and tested ‘it wasn’t me’ method.

Shaggy, real name Shagbert Guy, has already schooled Zelensky on the ‘deny and fly’ method, after watching the chief give a long and detailed denial about a drone attack on the Kremlin that was blamed on Ukraine this week.

“So when a drone hits the Kremlin…?” asked Zelensky at the first session today.

“It wasn’t me”, replied Shaggy.

“An explosion in a pipeline?”

“It wasn’t me”.

“A stray missile into Poland?”.

“It wasn’t me”.

“Who’s losing ground in the Donbas?”

“It wasn’t me”.

“They’re making claims I’m a terrorist”.

“It wasn’t me”.

“That the Azov Brigade are Nazis…”

“It wasn’t me”.

“They say they will assassinate me”.

“It wasn’t me”.

“And that the West don’t just care about dead Ukrainian citizens, they want to use this conflict to weaken Russia…”

“Ok maybe that one’s got some truth to it”.