Hen Party Aim To Really “Go The Distance” When It Comes To Being Obnoxious

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A GROUP of normally mild-mannered ladies are to really hit the “loud and obnoxious” button pretty hard this weekend, as they travel to Carrick-On-Shannon to celebrate the hen weekend of some girl they work with.

The 18 or so members of Laura Keeling’s hen party are set to leave Dublin at 2pm in a bid to arrive in the Leitrim town at around 5pm in the afternoon, where they will have a nice dinner in the hotel restaurant before beginning to scream at nothing in particular form 10pm o’clock onwards.

The ladies will be recognisable by their pink sashes, zogabong headbands with light-up penises, and their insistence on yelling at every “young fella” that walks by, despite the fact that they’re all in committed long-term relationships and have no heed in what they’re doing.

“It’s just kind of expected of you on a hen weekend, isn’t it?” said one woman we talked to, who admitted she was dreading the thoughts of the night out.

“I like a good night out, don’t get me wrong, but you never see women acting like this until they’re on a hen weekend. We have to grab at least one man’s arse every 10 minutes, it’s the law. And scream. Always scream, all the time. We have to pretend like everything is the funniest thing that has ever happened. It’s exhausting”.

Carrick-On-Shannon natives are to remain on full lockdown until the hen party has passed, with many retreating to specially built ‘hen-bunkers’ for the weekend.

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