New Bypass Announced For Cork Bypass After Public Appeal

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A NEW road which will bypass the bypass for Cork begins construction later this month after a huge public appeal.

Commuters have complained that the Cork bypass suffers from false advertising as it does not bypass Cork entirely, merely bypassing parts of it.

“We’ve heard from a lot of angry members of the public, who have a great aversion to Cork, have no love for the place at all. So, they were only too happy to see road signage for something that could bypass it entirely,” explained Minister for Transport Pascal Donohoe.

The 160km stretch of road will bypass the original bypass bringing motorists out of Cork entirely, ensuring minimal contact with the Rebel county. Large fences around the road’s perimeter are being considered in an effort to reduce all views of Cork on the horizon.

Beginning in Waterford several miles shy of Youghal, the new bypass will move north to Tipperary, before snaking westwards through Limerick finding its final landing point in Clonkeen, Kerry, seemlessly avoiding Cork altogether.

“The people have spoken, and we’ve listened. Sure, it adds hours onto a journey, but the public are passionate about avoiding Cork. This bypass of a bypass leads folks safely away from Cork, and we admit the original Cork bypass could have been given a more appropriate name, possibly ‘actually there’s a fair bit of Cork in this bypass'” Donohoe added.

The Minister would not rule out yet another bypass of this new bypass of the Cork bypass if commuters objected to ending up in Tipperary for a short time.

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