Fine Gael Admit They Haven’t Had A Facebook Friend Request In Over 3 Years


FINE GAEL has hit back at claims they bought as many as 2,000 Facebook likes in a bid to give the false impression a post-budget Q & A on their official page was of any interest to the general public.

Hosted by Wicklow TD Simon Harris, the Q & A received little attention from the public who have become fatigued by years of austerity, leaving their appetite for engagement with a TD who had little to no input in drafting the budget non-existent.

Buying Facebook likes can involve spending as little as €15 to gain thousands of followers from countries as far away as Bangladesh in order to make your brand, company or political party appear more popular than it is.

Fine Gael issued a stern rebuttal of the accusations that they bought ‘likes’ by pointing out that collectively they haven’t had a friend request in over three years.

“Look, we couldn’t catch the clap at an STD conference, so no, we didn’t buy the likes, sure who would be interested,” offered Fine Gael’s tech guy Martin Dolan.

“It’s my job to keep an eye on all things ‘internet’ at Fine Gael and not a single TD has had a Facebook friend request in three years, we’re resigned to being left out of a lot of things online,” he added as he switched the Taoiseach’s laptop on and off again for the 14th time today.

“He’s constantly trying to download House of Cards and Glee via torrents, the laptop is riddled with malware,” an overworked Dolan explained.

There was fresh hope for Government TDs earlier in the year when the Minister for Health Leo Varadkar received a friend request only for it to turn out to be a case of mistaken identity.

It is rumoured that the cabinet spend much of their weekly cabinet meetings stalking popular TDs online such as Mary Lou McDonald and Ming Flanagan to enhance their chances of gaining new Facebook friends.

“We would of course welcome buying likes, but companies offering that service have upped the price on certain people, including ourselves due to the fact that no one would believe the fact we’d get 2,000 likes in the space of a few minutes. Even with the recent budget we can’t afford those prices,” Dolan concluded.