Shatter ‘Loving’ All The Attention He’s Getting Lately


JUSTICE MINISTER Alan Shatter said he is ‘absolutely loving’ all the media coverage he’s been getting lately and is looking forward to interacting with everyone in the Dáil today.

The stylish 63-year-old turned up to Leinster house sporting a neatly tailored Armani suit and pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses, telling the awaiting press ‘Today is a good day to be alive.”

Asked whether he believes it’s too early in the year to wear shades, he replied: “No, not at all. Look at that sun beating down peeps. Protecting your delicate eye area from UV light is just as important as moisturising. So don’t be afraid to get out there in style, no matter what the occasion.”

Mr. Shatter is expected to face some difficult questions in the chambers today, but stated he’ll take everything in his stride and doesn’t fear ‘ignorance’.

“It’s another day, another dollar,” he jested. “It will take a lot to rattle this old ship. Those boys in there are kittens, and I’m an alley cat. I’m not really worried.”

“Did anyone see the Man Utd game last night?” he added. “What’s going on with them lately, eh? It’s like if Fianna Fail took over a football team or something.”

After high fiving several reporters, Mr Shatter ran up Leinster house steps, leaving several members of the press in awe of his agility. Turning at the top he said: “Remember lads, if the world gives you lemons, make lemonade!”

The minister for awesome is expected to sail through todays question and answers sessions on Garda Whistleblowers