Television Programmes Replaced By Christmas Ads

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THE heads of all major TV stations here and abroad have confirmed the suspension of all current television programmes slated for production in favour of airing non stop Christmas ads, WWN can reveal.

The news has come as a surprise to very few members of the TV viewing public as they were under the impression the policy had been put in place some time in August of this year.

“We’re simply giving in to the demand of consumers who, honestly, are constantly telling me how much they want Christmas ads in November and how the TV shows are getting in the way,” confirmed Lynda McQuaid.

TV3 have confirmed they will air as many as 60,000 different Christmas ads from Irish and international brands in the run up to the festive season, with their rivals following suit.

“Ah, come on, it’s Christmas, lighten up,” head of RTÉ Noel Curran told WWN on the 17th of November, “did you see the John Lewis ad, stop, it was like an episode of Fair City on crack,” Curran added, in a clear indication he’s never watched Fair City.

Some viewers have objected to the ceasing of televisual content, citing their frustration at the fact that almost every retailer and business thinks they need a Christmas ad.

“I wanted to watch the 9 o’clock news last night, and instead it was a 20 minute ad for fire lighters…set in the time of the dinosaurs, Scarlett Johansson was in it as a sexy cave woman. Then there was the ad for spoons? Honestly, I’d actually prefer the Angelus on repeat at this stage,” confirmed disgruntled watcher of TV Alan Devine.

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