Refresh

This website waterfordwhispersnews.com/2024/10/04/man-finally-finishes-up-bog-roll-he-panic-bought-at-start-of-covid/ is currently offline. Cloudflare's Always Online™ shows a snapshot of this web page from the Internet Archive's Wayback Machine. To check for the live version, click Refresh.

Man Finally Finishes Up Bog Roll He Panic Bought At Start Of Covid

6
0
Share:

AFTER experiencing an unprecedented month-long bout of diarrhea doctors say should have killed him, local man David McCalfey has finally reached the end of his supply of bog roll which was bought in a fit of Covid-19 panic shopping some four years ago.

“Look it, if we knew then what we know now would I say that 14 cubic tonnes of toilet roll was an ‘essential’ panic buy, no. But we didn’t know that, did we?” McCalfey shared with WWN of his bulk purchase from his local Tesco.

“The lady on the checkout suffered severe nerve damage in her hands having to scan all the packets, and the pensioner I choked slammed out of the way to get to the Andrex extra soft, sure they might see it differently. But I was only doing what we all did back then, sensible purchases in case of an emergency,” offered McCalfey.

Still unable to admit that perhaps bog roll wasn’t the most essential item to buy while in the throes of a pandemic, McCalfey said that the toilet roll turned out to be one of his best purchases.

“I actually suffer from something called micro-stools, my poo is all small and pebble like, so I would typically use more sheets than the average person. What’s worse than putting myself in €10k of debt by excessive bog roll purchases? Finding out you’ve run out after going number two, that’s what,” justified McCalfey.

Elsewhere, fellow Waterford man and doomsday prepper Cillian Fennessey is still refusing to emerge from his nuclear fallout shelter despite assurances from neighbours that the worst of Covid is long over and it wasn’t a plot by Kilkenny to reclaim the disputed Ferrybank area.

Share:
X

You may see ads that are less relevant to you. These ads use cookies, but not for personalisation

Learn more about how we use cookies

You may change your settings at any time but this may impact on the functionality of the site.