NORTH KOREAN insiders have revealed for the first time the true affect US President Donald Trump’s comments about Kim Jong Un’s weight have had on the rotund dictator, WWN can report. “He’s barely eating his daily tub of ice cream, he just picks at it once he’s finished the first two litres of it,” explained… Read more »
FURTHER embarrassment has been heaped on the Trump administration just hours after it was reported that Jared Kushner was registered as ‘female’ on New York State Board’s voting register. With the Trump administration in the middle of wildly celebrating three scandal free minutes of the presidency, reports began circling in the media that President Trump’s… Read more »
PRESIDENT of the United States of America Donald Trump has vowed to revive the country’s cotton picking industry, hinting at a welfare run scheme that will enable thousands of people on welfare to “earn their cheques” by working on plantations. Speaking at a White House press conference this afternoon, Mr. Trump outlined a detailed plan… Read more »
IN YET another controversial move by the US leader, President Donald Trump has announced he is to sign an executive order to pull America out of its own constitution in a bid to “destroy any more obstacles” that may hinder his future policies. Mr. Trump took to twitter late last night to break to news,… Read more »
CAPITALISING on President Donald Trump’s first trip abroad since becoming leader of his country in January, the American public hastily hired a locksmith this morning in order to change the locks on the doors to the White House, thus ensuring Trump’s old keys would no longer grant him access to the building. Trump’s short week… Read more »
AMERICAN defense stocks soared Monday after President Donald Trump signed a $110 billion weapons deal with Saudi Arabia, a move that will be worth $350 billion over the next 10 years for the leaders of the free world. However, WWN can reveal that the sale does come with some hidden clauses with serious implications, including a proposed plan… Read more »
A PARADE of trucks, from several competing fumigation service providers, were seen lining up outside the White House at 7am this morning following reports that the Oval Office may have become infested with noxious bullshit. Many concerned citizens working in buildings in the surrounding Washington DC area complained about the overwhelming stench shortly after the… Read more »
STREAMING GIANT Netflix has made the decision to cancel its successful House of Cards series, citing the fact that despite an effort to create a series of compelling and dramatic events surrounding the inner workings of Washington politics and the White House, try as they might they ‘can’t compete with this shit’. The news comes… Read more »
EXPERTS in Morse code are claiming the American first lady, Melania Trump, blinked the letters ‘H.E.L.P.’ during her first official appearance as First Lady at the White House on Wednesday to welcome Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife Sara. Standing outside the South Portico of the White House with husband, President Donald Trump, the 46-year-old… Read more »
WORRY has been expressed at the highest levels within the UN following the successful test of a ballistic missile by North Korea and its leader Kim Jong Un, who went on to issue a stark and distressing ‘missile launching contest’ invite to US President Donald Trump. It is believed the UN fears that both massively… Read more »