UNCERTAINTY still haunts the UK’s impending exit from the EU, with fears that a no-deal Brexit will cause unending economic misery to not just the population of Great Britain, but also to the greater Eurozone as shockwaves rupture through the markets. But one political expert has envisioned an even worse fate than a no-deal exit; the… Read more »
Action loading. Connecting to European Commission servers. Loading. Processing. Loading. Complete. CONGRATULATIONS Theresa! 🎉🎉🎉 You’ve done it, you have successfully cancelled Brexit! What relief you must be feeling. Don’t worry that sensation coursing through your body is called adrenaline, and that thing expanding out across your face where scowl used to be is called a… Read more »
TDs have spent the majority of today locked in crunch debates regarding the government’s No-Deal Brexit Omnibus Bill, seriously ruining a day in the sunshine that would have gone down well with a few frosty pints from the Dáil bar. Leinster House insiders have leaked that the looming possibility of the UK crashing out of… Read more »
WITH the EU-Arab Summit welcoming delegates and leaders from 24 European countries to Egypt this week, President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi has asked all state agencies involved in the detainment and execution of political prisoners to ‘tone it down a wee bit’ over the next week. The statement comes following the mass execution of 9 suspects found guilty of… Read more »
THE government are today breathing a big Brexit sigh of relief, after a plucky Carlow household volunteered to bear the economic brunt of the UK crashing out of the EU in a disorderly fashion next month. Tánaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs Simon Coveney was preparing to deliver the government’s plan for coping with a… Read more »
RESPONDING to the news 8 Labours MPs and 3 Tory MPs have quit their parties to form the Independent Group adding to the already considerable chaos, exhausted Britons have thrown their hands up in the air and quit British politics. “I didn’t know we could quit. Brilliant,” confirmed one Briton who was flummoxed by the… Read more »
“MERDE!” The words of French president Emmanuel Macron as he spied Theresa May walking up a Brussels driveway shortly before he pleaded desperately with leaders of the other heads of EU member states to stop talking, turn off the lights and hide in order to give the impression none of them were home. “Do you… Read more »
FROM the crack team of politicians that brought you the €1.1 billion and counting overspend on the National Children’s Hospital comes the solemn and believable promise that in the event of a Hard Brexit, Ireland will be ready for anything, and in the most financially prudent way possible. Tánaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs Simon… Read more »
IN AN EFFORT to help the reality of the UK, Northern Ireland and Ireland’s shared history really set in for Britons who gaily dismiss concerns about a hard Irish border, historians and residents on the island of Ireland have formally agreed to change ‘the Troubles’ to ‘Bloody Fucking War!’ to see if that helps. The… Read more »
CODE-NAMED ‘Operation Honeytrap’, the Irish government have launched their most seductive weapon in a bid to avert a hard Brexit in the form of President Michael D Higgins. Embarking on a ‘routine visit’ to the UK, Irish president Michael D. Higgins is in fact on a clandestine mission to get into the Queen’s nickers and… Read more »