Tag: sport

Number Of Active NFL Players Known To Local Man Reduced To Zero

THE retirement of Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback and seven-time Superbowl winner Tom Brady has reset Waterford man Eric Langley’s American football knowledge to ‘John Madden on the Mega Drive’ levels, WWN can confirm. Although Langley has never watched an entire American Football game in his life, the era-defining run of Tom Brady was enough for… Read more »

Local Man Prepping ‘Always Thought She Was Rubbish’ Remarks If Taylor Loses Next Fight

THE long-mooted dream clash between undisputed world lightweight champion Katie Taylor and seven-weight world champion Amanda Serrano has finally been announced for Madison Square Garden on Saturday 30th April, and Carlow man Cathal Hannifin is already in training for his post-fight analysis should the Bray woman lose. “Will I go for ‘I knew she wouldn’t… Read more »

FIFA To Donate Footballs To Drowning Refugees

HEAD OF FIFA Gianni Infantino has profusely apologised for suggesting that staging a World Cup every two years, instead of every fours years, could be the key to ending the horror of refugees drowning at sea and has pledged to provide them with some footballs. “We can probably only manage 20 footballs, we’re not made… Read more »

Horseracing Ireland To Trial Spoilers

IN A bid to increase performance using downforce, racehorses will soon have to be fitted with carbon fibre horse spoilers, Horse Racing Ireland has confirmed today following their annual general meeting. Spoilers will be riveted into the animal’s hind quarters allowing for the air to force down the horse’s backside and maintaining better grip on… Read more »

“We’ve Nothing To Hide” Confirms Qatar World Cup Officials Draping Covers Over Dead Construction Worker

SPREADING out their arms and legs as much as possible to obscure the view of anyone who happens upon the scene, Qatari World Cup 2022 officials have stressed once again that there are zero human rights issues experienced by migrant workers after some minors reforms. Fresh from arresting and releasing two Norwegian journalists for ‘trespassing’,… Read more »

US Golf Fans Just The Worst, Finds Report

NEW RESEARCH coming into WWN Sport from the Institute of Sports Research has revealed that US golf fans are more irritating than a thousands mosquitos bites doused in vinegar and set on fire. Citing ample course side evidence from team USA’s dominant and impressive Ryder Cup victory, the ISR confirmed that you’d be forgiven for… Read more »