HOPEFUL, determined and proud Olympians competing in the Beijing Winter Olympics which formally launched today with a glittering opening ceremony are completely unaware that they’re competing on top of a mass Uighur grave, WWN understands. “Do you mean like a figurative or literal grave? I’m not cool with either, but obviously one is easier than… Read more »
THE retirement of Tampa Bay Buccaneers Quarterback and seven-time Superbowl winner Tom Brady has reset Waterford man Eric Langley’s American football knowledge to ‘John Madden on the Mega Drive’ levels, WWN can confirm. Although Langley has never watched an entire American Football game in his life, the era-defining run of Tom Brady was enough for… Read more »
THE long-mooted dream clash between undisputed world lightweight champion Katie Taylor and seven-weight world champion Amanda Serrano has finally been announced for Madison Square Garden on Saturday 30th April, and Carlow man Cathal Hannifin is already in training for his post-fight analysis should the Bray woman lose. “Will I go for ‘I knew she wouldn’t… Read more »
HEAD OF FIFA Gianni Infantino has profusely apologised for suggesting that staging a World Cup every two years, instead of every fours years, could be the key to ending the horror of refugees drowning at sea and has pledged to provide them with some footballs. “We can probably only manage 20 footballs, we’re not made… Read more »
IN A bid to increase performance using downforce, racehorses will soon have to be fitted with carbon fibre horse spoilers, Horse Racing Ireland has confirmed today following their annual general meeting. Spoilers will be riveted into the animal’s hind quarters allowing for the air to force down the horse’s backside and maintaining better grip on… Read more »
AFTER MUCH deliberation sporting authorities within the games of rugby union and football are coming round to the idea that athletes getting repeatedly hit in the head might not be a good thing, mere decades after they were first alerted to the problem. “We found ignoring the problem initially made it go away,” explained one… Read more »
SPREADING out their arms and legs as much as possible to obscure the view of anyone who happens upon the scene, Qatari World Cup 2022 officials have stressed once again that there are zero human rights issues experienced by migrant workers after some minors reforms. Fresh from arresting and releasing two Norwegian journalists for ‘trespassing’,… Read more »
IMPARTIAL judge on Chinese political goings on and noted basketball player LeBron James has confirmed he has seen missing Chinese tennis player Peng Shuai and everyone can stop being mean to the Chinese Communist Party now. There had been fears for Peng’s safety ever since she went missing shortly after alleging she had been sexually… Read more »
GAA club teams calling for an end to Covid dressing room restrictions may have outed themselves as a ‘bunch of big girls blouses that are afraid of a little rain’, a new report has shown. Despite the fact that many of the teams may have shared a minibus to the match in the first place,… Read more »
NEW RESEARCH coming into WWN Sport from the Institute of Sports Research has revealed that US golf fans are more irritating than a thousands mosquitos bites doused in vinegar and set on fire. Citing ample course side evidence from team USA’s dominant and impressive Ryder Cup victory, the ISR confirmed that you’d be forgiven for… Read more »