MERE minutes into watching a movie which he insisted to his partner ‘was meant to be very good’ but is proving to be ‘pretty shit’, local man Gary Ward is suffocating under the feeling he’s never going to hear the end of this, WWN can reveal. “Bollocks,” confirmed Ward to himself as the first few… Read more »
RESPONDING to even the slightest sniff of some paid work, the huge numbers of people on the dole and PUP have besieged county Wicklow where Disney are holding an open casting call for their sequel to the Amy Adams hit ‘Enchanted’. With Ireland’s youth unemployment at an effective rate of 56.8%, Disney, who were just… Read more »
AS the first Oscars ceremony of the Covid era draws to a close, WWN turns yet again to resident film expert Owen Caulfied, for his assessment of who-won-what based on months of illegal downloading, password-skimming and VPN-enabled dodgybox delights. Over to you, Owen! Best Film: Nomadland “I can’t see why this won to be honest…. Read more »
“NOW just seems the motherfucking time for some discreet, polite communication in my roles and my life, aw shit ain’t that a motherfucker! I’ve done it again,” a frustrated Jackson explains as he reset his ‘it’s been X minutes since my last motherfucker’ timer back to zero. Evidently it’s early days but Jackson is confident… Read more »
WWN’s preeminent armchair film critic Trevor Nolan rages at what must be the most disappointing, crowd-pleasing, box-ticking set of Oscar nomination since the Rochus Gliese controversy of 1929. “This day will live in infamy as the day the Academy finally outdid itself and topped the farce that was the 1929 awards. Nominees from movies I’ve… Read more »
THE lack of saloon fights, car chases and general fist-based action in his life has begun to wear on Waterford man Derek Atkins, who has crested the ripe old age of 45 without once fending off a bar full of bad guys using just a broken pool cue. “Curse my soft, scar-free body” mused Atkins,… Read more »
THE long-running Alien franchise returns to screens this summer with a stunning new instalment that re-imagines the sci-fi horror masterpiece as a more grounded, Earth-based take featuring veteran actor and activist Mia Farrow. “We needed someone who could bring that sense of strength in the face of grotesque adversity, the essence of a woman who… Read more »
AMERICAN actor and humanitarian Leonardo DiCaprio has welcomed his nomination for best meme with the ever popular Django Unchained still image of him holding an alcoholic drink and laughing snarkily at his own joke being odds on favourite to win, and becoming one of the most popular internet memes this year. “The Best Meme category… Read more »
AMERICAN movie star Vin Diesel has confirmed he has changed his name via deed poll to Vin Electric over increasing taxes targeting environmentally unfriendly surnames, WWN has learned. Citing huge income tax bills Mr. Electric is set to reduce his tax contributions by a staggering 8%, sparking a flood of similar name changes across the… Read more »
GRIMACING as if hearing the snapping of a distant twig under the footfall of an elite team of US Marshals tasked with bringing him in, local Waterford man Denis Laffin can’t help but let his imagination run wild with thoughts of what it would like to be a fugitive from the law like in a… Read more »