IMPARTING his warning with a serious tone befitting someone alerting people to an impending tsunami hitting a nearby shoreline, local man Dave Clerkin is trying to dissuade as many people as possible from sitting down to watch Christopher Nolan blockbuster ‘Tenet’ which Clerkin has taken to labeling ‘a big heap of absolute bollocks’. “Biggest load… Read more »
A MAN in his early forties has today finally admitted that the Matrix trilogy from the late nineties/early 2000s is on the whole a great big pile of absolute shite, with the high points of the first movie diluted by the dreck of the second and third; something he spent ten years denying because ‘it… Read more »
SETTLING in with his family to watch Christmas classic ‘Home Alone’ with his family, one Irish father took it as an opportunity to list all the ways he would get the better of Kevin McAllister and brutally murder him, WWN can report. “See your man here is putting his hand on the red hot door… Read more »
COUNTRIES have abandoned all information campaigns relating to large scale gatherings over the Christmas period, replacing them with a screaming Tom Cruise after he was heard explosively self-destructing in a rant aimed at film crew flouting safety measures. Administering the bollocking with an intensity normally reserved for Scientology recruitment videos, Cruise caught the attention of… Read more »
PACING his pristine white kitchen which was inexplicably populated by action from movies available on Sky Cinema, Idris Elba screamed down the phone to Sky TV executives, begging for his family’s safe return. “I’ve made every conceivable ad I can make, I’ve held my end of the bargain, just give me my family back,” begged… Read more »
IN a landmark move set to shake up the entire motion picture industry, Warner Bros. have announced that they will release their entire 2021 slate of blockbusters in theatres and on streaming service HBO MAX at the same time, and on Waterford man Harry Conway’s laptop about an hour after that. The move comes as… Read more »
SECRETLY loving every second of the furore surrounding the appalling Irish accents in Irish set Hollywood rom-com ‘Wild Mountain Thyme’, the nation of Ireland has once again been taken completely by surprise by the failure of someone to mimic its vast range of accents correctly. “Jaysus, don’t get me started on how it’s set in… Read more »
SPARKED by the unspeakably twee and diddly eye-ness of the newly released trailer for ‘Wild Mountain Thyme’ and the accents therein which are surely crimes against the Irish people, WWN has produced a definitive list of the most awful Irish accents to ever grace the screens of Hollywood movies: The Field? Do we all live… Read more »
“BIDEN and Harris, Harris and Biden” fumed Donald Trump in the back of a stretch limo, driving away from the scene of another opinion poll which saw the Democratic pair make even more ground on their quest to break up his empire. “If it’s not Biden it’s Harris, if it’s not Harris it’s Biden. These… Read more »
“JESUS, I haven’t seen this thing in years, look at all the dust,” remarked local man Anthony Goughlin, as he descended the squeaky fold up ladder that led to the attic in his house. Prompted into a nostalgic trip down memory lane on account of news that Sacha Baron Cohen’s iconic comedic character Borat is… Read more »