ITALIAN Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi announced his decision today to stand down from leadership after striking a ‘Virgin Island Retirement home’ deal with parliament. The 75-year-old will be flown to the Caribbean early next week where he will live out the rest of his days in the height of luxury. Berlusconi told the countries president, Giorgio Napolitano, on… Read more »
WORLD news events surged today to record the biggest one-day gain in stories since the beginning of the Michael Jackson murder trial in September this year. Journalists for the broadcaster have reported huge volumes in daily events from around the globe and have requested a continuous news report to replace the 5-hour murder-trial timeslot. News stories… Read more »
THOUSANDS of US and UK military personal are set to ‘Occupy Iran’ in what is believed to be the biggest anti-capitalist protest ever recorded in human history. The protest which was originally inspired by the Occupy Wall Street movement in New York, and the “Indignants” in Spain, has now spread from citizen to government. Barack Obama said he was… Read more »
EUROPEAN countries rejoiced today after an 18-month sovereign debt crisis was brought to an end when a central bank employee accidentally spilled a skinny caramel Machiatto on the ECB’s main computer, erasing billions of euros in world dept. IT worker Nathaniel King said he was performing checks on the computers mouse lead when he… Read more »
MILLIONS of people around the world signed books of condolences for the late Muammar Gaddafi today. Over 40 million people have already expressed their sympathies since the 69 year old lost his battle to revolution yesterday afternoon. A book of condolence was opened last night at the Libyan embassey in Dublin and people queued throughout… Read more »
TEENAGERS everywhere were said to be very excited today after hearing news that legendary rock star Ian Brown is to launch a ‘brand new’ indy rock band called ‘The Stone Roses‘. Thousands of young fans continued to swarm social networks this evening with the good news. Some saying this was ‘probably his best idea yet’. “Oh my… Read more »
A NEW social network called ‘Life’ has been taking the world by storm and is already tipped to become the number one platform for social interaction among friends and relatives. Launched only 3.85 billion years ago, the network has already surpassed 7.5bn members and is expected to reach 8 billion members by the end of… Read more »
A RECENT study in the US has found that a staggering 98% of Americans are already very happy with their ceiling depth and find no reason to increase it as recently suggested by the president. Barack Obama had warned the country they risked tipping the world back into a recession and throwing “millions more people out… Read more »
A controversial new facebook game that has drawn harsh criticism from both politicians and the general public asks players to build an Afghani poppie farm and sell as much opium as you can in order to fund the Taliban rulers in your virtual district. Zynga LTD, a San Franciscan game developer , released the game… Read more »
RYANAIR has announced its plans to run flights where passengers are hung on meat hooks during the journey at a cost of just €2 per ticket. Ryanair’s CEO, Michael O’Leary, has been quoted as saying “We’ve been looking into meat hooks for a long long time. We would be taking out the last 20 rows… Read more »