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Annoying Bastard Ice-Cream Van Guy ‘Taking The Absolute Piss Now’, Says Everybody
EVERYBODY living in housing estates across the country have claimed the annoying bastard ice-cream van guy is just ‘taking the absolute piss now’, it ... -
Astronomy Ireland: ‘Venus Can Go Fuck Itself’
ONE of the countries most popular astronomy clubs announced today that it was sick and tired of failing to see ... -
Drinking Coffee Makes You Live Longer Until We Change Our Minds Again, Say Researchers
PEOPLE who drink coffee live longer than non-drinkers, but researchers may change their minds again next week, a special report ... -
Theory on ‘Invisible’ Dark Matter Which Holds Universe Together Is ‘Absolute fairytale’, Says Pope
THE POPE has laughed-off sciences latest theory on ‘dark matter’, saying that the idea of an invisible force that holds ... -
Vatican Strikes D’Arcy Family Name From Church Register
THE VATICAN have announced today that anyone with the family name ‘D’Arcy’ will be stricken from all Catholic church records ... -
‘My Work Here Is Done’ Says Fornication TD Before Dramatically Ascending Back Into Heaven
FINE GAEL TD Michelle Mulherin dramatically ascended back into heaven this morning in front of hundreds of spectators claiming that her ‘work here ... -
Government: New Water Meters To Include ‘Draw Something’ App For First Million Customers
THE GOVERNMENT announced today that all new water meters will include a ‘draw something’ app for the first one million ... -
Woman Googles ‘Pain in Head’, Self Diagnoses Brain-Tumour And ‘Will Probably Die Now’, Says Woman
A COUNTY Kilkenny woman is in fear for her life after a migraine led her to a Google search which then ... -
Bad Behaviour In Kids Linked To Being ‘Spoilt little Shits’, Finds Study
CHILDREN who show the early signs of bad behaviour are said to be directly linked to being ‘spoiled little shits’, ... -
Zoo Panda’s Finally Mate After Introduction Of Samantha Brick Mask
A pair of Chinese pandas at Edinburgh Zoo have finally mated after a Samantha Brick mask was placed on the female bears ...
