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Electric Ireland: Price Hikes Unavoidable As ‘Electricity Pole Crops’ Fall Victim To Wet Summer
ENERGY provider Electric Ireland (formally ESB) announced today that a new 6%Â increase in electricity prices was ‘unavoidable’ due to a ... -
Mountjoy: Sean Quinn Junior To Patent Worlds First Non-Slip Soap
THEY say you can’t keep a good entrepreneur down, and they may be right, as inmate Sean Quinn Jnr applied for a ... -
“Those Crusty Irish Bastards Really Got Us By The Balls Now!” Admits Shell CEO
SHELL CEO Peter Voser admitted today that the shell-to-sea protesters have really got the multinational oil and gas company by the balls after a truck carrying drilling ... -
Local band Must Be ‘Really Good Now’ After Black And White Photo Shoot, Say Fans
A LOCAL Waterford band have ‘upped the ante’ this week when it was confirmed by fans that they are ‘really good ... -
Martin McGuinness’ Shaking Hand Under Security Lockdown Ahead Of Queen Visit
THE shaking hand of  Deputy First Minister of Northern Ireland, Martin McGuinness, was put under security lock down this morning ... -
Astronomy Ireland: ‘Venus Can Go Fuck Itself’
ONE of the countries most popular astronomy clubs announced today that it was sick and tired of failing to see ... -
‘Why Are You People Always Whinging?’, Asks Government
THE Government have asked the country today why it is they are always ‘whinging’ and ‘moaning’ about stuff. At a ... -
Vatican Strikes D’Arcy Family Name From Church Register
THE VATICAN have announced today that anyone with the family name ‘D’Arcy’ will be stricken from all Catholic church records ... -
‘My Work Here Is Done’ Says Fornication TD Before Dramatically Ascending Back Into Heaven
FINE GAEL TD Michelle Mulherin dramatically ascended back into heaven this morning in front of hundreds of spectators claiming that her ‘work here ... -
Government: New Water Meters To Include ‘Draw Something’ App For First Million Customers
THE GOVERNMENT announced today that all new water meters will include a ‘draw something’ app for the first one million ... -
Government Facing Shortage Of New Tax Ideas To Piss People Off With
THE GOVERNMENT announced today that it is now facing a shortage of new tax ideas to piss people off with. ... -
“All My Facebook Friends Think I’m Really Cultured Now” Says Guy Who Translated Name To ...
A DUBLIN man has confirmed today that all his Facebook friends think he is ‘really cultured now’ after translating his ...
