FOLLOWING on from a nervy Champions League first leg tie against Bayern Munich and awaiting Sunday’s cagey match against a revitalised Manchester United, an increasing number of anxious Liverpool fans have chewed their fingernails down to nothing, WWN Sport can reveal. Gone are the memories of early January during which time Liverpool fans sauntered around… Read more »
LIVERPOOL fans are this morning waking up to the grim realisation that hopes of the first Premier League championship in the storied Merseyside team’s history have been dashed yet again, after Liverpool went out against rivals Manchester City last night after Liverpooling it all up. Shortly after kick off things were looking up for Jurgen Klopp’s men heading… Read more »
LIVERPOOL FAN Richie Hughes has come out of his final warm up ahead of Saturday’s Champions League final without any injury scares following a successful rewatching of his team’s last Champions League triumph in Istanbul in 2005. Careful not to lose his voice, Hughes only gave the rewatching 70% of his maximum screaming-mindlessly-at-the-television abilities, but… Read more »
LIVERPOOL and Egyptian forward Mo Salah ascended to Heaven/Jannah directly after being substituted last night, with God deeming him too precious an example of celestial perfection to risk keeping down on Earth any longer. A thunderous sound pulsed through Anfield following Salah’s 2 goals and 2 assists with a shaft of immense light striking down… Read more »
A LOCAL Liverpool has stressed that as part of his team’s guaranteed place in the Champion’s League final against either Real Madrid or Bayern Munich, he would settle for a win this evening against Roma in the region of 5 or 6-0. “Look, we beat Man City handsomely in the last round, we’re firing on… Read more »
FOLLOWING a pathetic 5-1 aggregate defeat at the hands of Liverpool, Manchester City ‘manager’ Pep Guardiola has firmly cemented his reputation as the worst manager in the history of football, according to some football experts. Guardiola, whose win rate now stands at a dreadful 0.00004% after his 74th defeat in a row, is reportedly awaiting… Read more »
“LEAVE ALL WhatsApp groups containing Liverpool fans. Block every Liverpool fan on your contact list. Arrive at work wearing sound proof earmuffs. Do not make eye contact with coworkers wearing full kits to work. We repeat do not approach Liverpool fans.” Blaring from hidden speaker systems in communities up and down Britain and throughout Europe,… Read more »
REPORTS coming into WWN from the Portuguese city of Porto details a harrowing event which saw police racing to the scene of an alleged massacre late last night, the likes of which have rarely been seen before. “Make it stop, make it stop. No more. Oh God, the shots. The shots!” confirmed an eye witness… Read more »
JESSICA Farrelly cut a forlorn figure on the end of her couch yesterday afternoon as she had to contend yet again with the stark reality of her relationship with her boyfriend and Liverpool fan Anthony Coogan, and his undying love for Mohamed Salah. Farrelly (27) had been in a happy and romantic union with Coogan… Read more »
TRY as Liverpool fans might, there’s no escaping the fact they will miss the services of newly unveiled Barcelona player Philippe Coutinho. But what can fans who have already cried into their pillows and burnt their home and away Coutinho jerseys do to fill that Coutinho-shaped hole in their hearts? WWN Sport has the answer:… Read more »