Tag: christmas

Local Child Fucking Knows

A CAT-AND-MOUSE game of nerves has broken out in the home of one Waterford family this year, as the parents of a 4th Class boy become increasingly aware that their son knows ‘the deal’ with Santa Clause. Louise and Michael Dornan, the parents of 9-year-old Phillip, were certain that last year was their son’s ‘last…

Charity’s Request For Donations No Match For Local Man’s Cold, Black Heart

A LEADING charity’s appeal for much needed donations in the run up to Christmas has proved no match for the cold, black heart belonging to one Dublin man, WWN has learned. Daniel Treally (25), has reportedly been exposed to several ads on radio and TV, as well as face-to-face on the street bucket shaking from… Read more »

“Woo, Christmas Party Tonight,” Reveals Coworker Who Will Later Be Fired For Their Behaviour

EXCITEDLY skipping across the floor in the office of a Waterford based business, one coworker has expressed their delight at the impending Christmas party, completely unaware their future conduct at the festivities will see them fired almost immediately. Rubbing his hands together with considerable glee, Stephen Handratty (24) loudly proclaimed “woo! Christmas party tonight, can’t… Read more »

WWN Gift Guide For Mums

YOUR Mum will always tell you that she ‘doesn’t really want anything for Christmas’, but you’re not going to buy that old chestnut are you? She’s the most special lady in your life, and she deserves a treat as much as anyone else in the family. Here’s a few pointers to make sure she gets… Read more »

Weather Issues Met Éireann Warning

THE Irish weather has issued a statement in which it warns the public to be aware of sweeping statements blowing westerly across the country from the headquarters of Met Éireann, which will pick up speed and ferocity as the month of December rolls in. The missive explained how the gusts of panic and dread will… Read more »

Santa Has Sack Torn In Workshop Accident

FATHER Christmas has been rushed to elf accident and emergency following an incident in his workshop where it is believed he tore a huge gash in his beloved sack. Santa, currently old as time itself, was said to be working quadruple overtime ahead of the peak Christmas rush when the accident occurred, as his bright… Read more »

WWN Gift Guide For Dads

YOUR Dad has been there for you from day one, helpful, supportive and loving… and you’re just going to give him a Lynx set for Christmas? You ingrate. You horrible person. Show a bit of God damn love and respect for the most important person in your life with the following gift ideas for Dad:… Read more »